Disappear

a dance in another space, relating to the memory of others, channeling the presence of someone else

28-5-2009 – what’s happening in this piece?

there’s a series of attempts at understanding and showing myself more, being more open and honest – it’s crucial to try not to hide behind forms and not to comment on what we do.

the relationships to the materials are, of course, essential. do we need to relate to them in the same way every time? we certainly need to relate to each other – that’s there in the playfulness, in having fun together at least with some of the materials. an idea is to make sure that we agree on some materials being shared fully and for sure – e.g., the Satellite phrase.

how to establish more of a connection between us during the Solo? opening up (peripheraly) to a shared space, understanding that we become one, that I move through him – maybe I should also travel very slowly inside, trying to share this new sense of timing with him.

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28-5-2009 – to do list

* rewrite monologue: shorter text but keeping multiple layers; watch out for how it starts, choose a stronger beginning?

* choose and edit an alternative outer space image – the shape that can play with the planet shape, some sort of similar perspective and depth, but a content more connected to the piece (chairs landscape?). maybe an insert to notice in the zooming in?

* add a dash of colour in the Disney pic

* prepare a new slide show: more images, include more from the process, some blacks in between

18-5-2009 – comments and advise

remnants; the history behind it is not revealed and maybe unimportant; construction/unconstruction of the space; artifacts/remnants of the process; arbitrary structure/sequence.

sometimes there’s a comment on the material, which produces some distance. in between being ‘authentic’ and ironic. very loaded images taken lightly.

episodes, no sequential logic. really liked entering the space to a very casual, already started thing (the singing practice).

postmodern freezer wrap: what’s our relationship to the movement phrase, and how does it relate to other things? a ghost of the old and new piece together…

17-5-09 – I am a leech

how about using Will just as a body, sucking the love I need out of him? I could hand-surf him, for instance. how about kissing everyone in the audience, one by one? for instance, when entering the space, or right after singing the song – maybe while William plays with the beaer. how about taking someone from the audience for hand-surf?

what is my movement work? now I feel that it’s me that should be relating to inner spaces and emptyness…

17-5-09 – Lou Reed is the real thing

some propositions:

-try out the reading of texts, stay with them for a while; William reads, Pole makes a meess around – Pole reads, Will makes a mess or dances

-music: what and when to play, is it always for a dance? lou reed, frank sinatra, Illya Kuryaki, Bernard Herrmann, Radiohead, Joao Gilberto…

-blowing leaves moving after the movement phrase

-placing of images in the space = slideshow

-props: beamer, notebook, box with leaves, eye-leaves, stones, printed fotos, texts, fan, paper bag, foto camera

17-5-09 – what do I want?

a certain lightness, trying to get more personal and yet without taking myself too seriously.

what is it really being closer to the work, being more personal? it’s not about really personal but about the way things are performed. what is needed to work on that? it would be easier for me to approach it on more clear (set/decided) materials than in the impros. or: deciding which kind of quality to look for in the impros, like the lightness.

there is something about the set movement phrase which seems like the real disappearing (at least as I think about it now, sitting in the cafe), especially if we would do it together. it still feels like it could be the closing texture of the piece – disappearing in the impersonal. have I been doing that all my life, do I keep hiding myself in things, in choices, in composition? is that why I like the written text over the voice? how to perform things?

the written texts in their quantity start becoming very material – something like 30 pages or more, a very thick text texture, very dense ink on paper. I’m interested in that accumulation, I’ll keep it going, but maybe we don’t neet to work too much with them, they can just grow.

again, then, what is it to put less distance between me and the materials of the piece? how to do it without getting dramatic? feels like having to perform might be necessary in order to learn about that distance – ¿?

5-2009 – somewhere around here…

…there was a VERY big shift in the process. we started collecting very different materials. I started doing automatic writing. I entered the piece as a performer.